Dating someone who has had an abortion
"If he wants to stop her from getting a job once the baby is out of the house, he'll try to get her pregnant again."Michelle, 30, a domestic violence counselor, listens daily to stories of men stealthily slipping off condoms mid-act or women who say they're forced to hide their birth control pills in vitamin bottles.What she doesn't tell these women is that only a few years ago, she was a victim too.She thought his focus on the medical side of conception was a little intense, but sweet."I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me," she says. " Mark's fixation on expanding their family intensified when they returned from their honeymoon."All he wanted from me was to have his babies." Finally, after Mark screamed at her that he'd replace her with a -an-hour maid if she couldn't get pregnant, Sara fought back and told him what she'd known for months: that she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed their bedroom furniture and threatened her with a gun; then he pushed her down the stairs.She fled, eventually ending up at a domestic violence shelter.
"I wanted to start a family, just not after major surgery — I was in a ton of pain."Abusers are insecure and feel unlovable," he says."They think they have to coerce someone to stay with them." Forcing a woman to have their baby is the perfect tie that binds.But I went along with it to make him happy." Soon she was pregnant, but miscarried.When he found out she'd lost the baby, Mark grabbed her by the neck and choked her.
He apologized for the attack and blamed the outburst on his grief.